Fickle minded Eileen

Yesterday I went out with edwin to exchange our presents. All went well. I was confused for a moment, especially when I saw the card he wrote for me. He has tried to please me and the impact was great becuase he wrote it before we broke up and I said he didn't care. So it's like trying and still wun help make me happy...timing problem...

And now, he wants to take things slow..i hope it's to regain confidence in this relationship, I love him very much even though he can be sometimes very tactless, but i guess that's him, after two years I still haven't gotten used? I dun noe myself anymore, just dun noe what to do, very sad, confused and disappointed. I guess i am too prideful, I thought breaking up with him would trigger him to work harder and put in more effort, but now looking at the situation, breaking up with him only made him even more relaxed. I dun noe to expect a good thing out of this. I am keeping my fingers crossed and wait. I am embarassed to admit the fact that i will wait but now I dun care anymore. Also, I am not the kind who can get into a relationship like changing my underwear, the time is good for me too. If you realise that was the initial plan, now it looks like the time is for me and not for him... anybody lost? understand me?

stole a small hug and kiss before we parted, and parted full of doubts and uncertainty..hate this feeling...i am prideful because i keep telling myself, forget it, what's the big deal, get over it...but deep inside me keeps holding on...

Can I keep you?

Lives are for living I live for you
Dreams are for dreaming I dream for you
Hearts are for beating mine beats for you
Angels are for keeping. Can I keep you?